Someone asked me about
how you show respect towards your teacher on and off the mat in Japan compared
with the United States. As it happens, I’m getting ready for a trip to Japan
and I’ve been thinking about that bit lately. Respect should be fundamental to
any relationship, and that’s particularly true in budo, where what we’re just
practicing is dangerous because of the nature of the techniques. If you don’t
respect you teachers and partners, or if they don’t respect you, things can get
ugly very fast. Respect is essential before you even begin training.
I see a lot of different
ways of requiring and showing respect in the West. I’ve seen dojo that made me
think of images of military basic training from the movies, with everyone
standing rigidly at attention and screaming out their responses to the
teacher’s commands and comments. I’ve seen other ones that were so quiet
it was amazing. The students and teachers said almost nothing. The
students kneel, the teacher demonstrate something a few times, claps, and
everyone spreads out to practice what was demonstrated. All without a
word. The dojo I’m most comfortable in are probably a little too chatty for
optimal practice, but the same can certainly be said of me. These dojo are
relaxed. The teacher leads and demonstrates but the students are
comfortable asking questions frequently, both when the teacher is demonstrating
new things, and when the students are working on things on their own.
In each of these dojo,
the teacher is shown respect, but it feels different, and results in a
different sort of relationship with the teacher. There are teachers who expect
to be obeyed instantly and who seem to stand above their students. It’s tough
to imagine a student doing anything that might be interpreted as questioning
the teacher’s understanding or ability, in the dojo or out of it. Regardless of
what sort of person the teacher really is, the feeling generated is imposing
and doesn’t leave room for difficult questions.
Other teachers seem
almost like priests sharing mystic secrets. Their technique is beautiful and
powerful. Everyone works to duplicate it, but asking questions just feels
out of place and rude, not just to the teacher but to the other students. The
attitude shown towards the teacher shades from respectful into reverential. The
teacher is the leader and the guide who makes sure you don’t become lost.
Questions are inappropriate.
Then there are the
chatty ones. They seem more like regular folks. They are sharing their practice
as much as they are teaching. The dojo is neither a place of stern external
discipline, nor a peaceful place dedicated to quiet striving. These dojo often
seem surprisingly laid back. The teacher sometimes seems more like the the lead
student than a teacher. The teacher is including the students in his practice
and taking them along on their journey along the way, whatever way it may be.
Questions are freely asked. It’s entirely possible for someone to respond to a
lesson with “I don’t think that will work.” The teacher probably isn’t offended
though. More likely the response will be, “OK, let’s try it.” The
teacher is further along the path than everybody else, but she’s still on the
same path and the students are exploring it with her. The students look to the
teacher for leadership, but the teacher isn’t very different from the students.
That’s three basic types
of dojo and teachers. I know that each can run to extremes that are awful.
The stern, disciplinarian dojo can become brutal and hurtful, abusive and
dangerous to anyone who doesn’t toe the line perfectly. The quiet,
peaceful, reverential dojo can become cult-like and mystical with little room
for anyone who questions the leader in any way. The relaxed, friendly dojo can
devolve into a bunch of friends goofing around where no one is really teaching
or leading and everyone is just there to have a good time. I’m not going to
focus on the extremes here though.
Most dojo aren’t really
one of these. Most dojo are some mix of all of them. These are martial
arts we’re talking about, so some sort of disciplined behavior is a requirement
just for safety’s sake. There is nothing wrong with good discipline in the
dojo. When we talk about budo, we are talking about a Way, a means of
developing the self through the practice and perfection of a common activity,
in this case martial arts. A little bit of quiet, spiritual thought and
atmosphere is always appropriate. Even the hardcore, super disciplined dojo I’ve
been in usually start and end class with a brief period of meditation and quiet
thought. Teachers are usually a mix of all these traits.
Students show their
respect for teachers in and out of the dojo in many ways. I have met a few
teachers outside Japan who insist on being addressed as “Sensei” both in and
out of the dojo, though these are blissfully rare. Most teachers, myself
included, blend the formality of the dojo and their local culture, and separate
which is dominate by location. In the dojo even the chattiest of sensei have to
have a little formality to prevent injuries
In the dojo, we expect
students to use formal, dojo behavior, with bows and proper forms of respect.
All the bows to teachers and fellow students are clear, visible actions of respect
for the teacher and your fellow students. It can feel extremely stiff and
unnatural for people from cultures like the US where most formalities have been
abandoned. It’s a good lesson though.
This is part of a formal bow. Not every style uses the bowing form found in Karate, Judo and Aikido
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In Japan respect is
built into the culture in ways that may have been true in the US 75 years ago,
but it certainly aren’t anymore. Respect and politeness go hand in hand, and
Americans have traded politeness for brutal honesty and the expectation that
almost any sort of behavior will be tolerated. In Japan, all of those polite
formalities are critical.
The closest analog to
bowing is probably the military salute. The salute recognizes and pays respect
to people of higher status. Bowing in Japan does the same thing, but with far
more levels of nuance. Japan is a society that is obsessed with social
hierarchy and everyone’s place in it. Contrast this with the American visceral
dislike for hierarchy and insistance that everyone is equal and you can see
that when the two mix, discomfort and confusion are guaranteed.
It may surprise some
people to find out that I’ve seen all these same sorts of dojo described above,
in Japan. I’ve seen a couple of other variations as well. The super
disciplined, militaristic feeling dojo are often seen in modern budo styles
like kendo and karate. These are dojo where everyone lines up, screams the dojo
kun, and then does all the same exercises screaming and being screamed at.
This is not terribly traditional. This sort of dojo behavior only goes
back to the early 20th century as the modern budo were co-opted by the military
government and used as means to instill samurai values in the peasants who made
up the new army. Granted, the emphasis on everyone doing the same things
together was an inescapable effect of trying to train hundreds of people at the
same time, but many of the worst aspects of the Japanese military of the period
became common in those arts well, including hazing and abuse of juniors by
seniors. Over time this has been diminished, but it still is seen far too
often.
The very quiet,
spiritually focused dojo is probably less common inside Japan than outside. If
you look, you can still find some of the most incredible examples of excess
focus on the spiritual and mystical to the detriment of practical budo in
Japan. In these dojo the sensei is more like a great mystical leader and guru
than a budo teacher.
The koryu dojo that I
have trained in are probably the most unexpected for non-Japanese. Koryu dojo
don’t have nearly as much external discipline and signs of hierarchy as are
found in the modern, post-war gendai budo dojo, nor are they terribly mystical,
even in systems with a strong connection to Buddhism or Shinto. Usually there
are few if any outward signs of rank, and the formalities are generally less
formal. That doesn’t mean everyone is not aware of their relative position in
the dojo, just that external expressions aren’t necessary. In contrast to some
teachers who are decked out in beautiful obi, hakama and uwagi, Kiyama Sensei
often has the most worn, patched and threadbare outfit in the room. Each person
comes into the dojo, bows individually, and begins practicing in a corner of
the room. There is nothing visible to distinguish who the teachers are until
they start giving instruction to individual students.
Regardless of the style
of dojo and teaching though, in Japan everyone is intimately aware of their
position in the dojo’s hierarchy. People outside Japan often ask about using
dojo titles outside the dojo, or how you show respect to someone outside the dojo.
In Japan, a title is not just an honorific, it is a reflection of who you are
in society. When a person becomes a section head in company there, everyone
stops using their name. They become “Bucho.” Literally this means
“Head of the Section”. Even his wife may start using the title to address
him. When I was teaching school in Japan, everyone called me “Sensei,”
including my Japanese mother-in-law. In Japanese culture, your role in society
is who you are, so yes, in Japan you call your teacher “Sensei” everywhere,
inside the dojo and outside.
Respect isn't just shown by bowing and using titles. Photo courtesy of Grigoris Miliaresis. |
Another aspect of
showing respect is something people who don’t speak Japanese will completely
miss. In Japanese, every time you say something, you are also emphasizing your
position in the social group relative to the person you are talking to, and the
people you may be talking about. In Japanese, you can’t say anything without
expressing your relationship to the person you are talking to. It’s not just
the words you use. To conjugate a verb correctly, you have to know whether the
person you are talking to is above or below you in the hierarchy. Even if you
don’t call your teacher by name or title, everything you say in Japanese makes
clear your relationship.
In Japanese it’s very
easy to show respect just by using verb conjugations and forms that emphasize
someone’s high status, or conversely, expresses your lower status. On the other
side of the coin, you can be incredibly rude simply by using the wrong verb
conjugation. Instead of using a form that indicates whomever you are talking
with is of high status, you can use one that indicates they are of low status.
Japanese doesn’t have many swear words of the sort common in English because if
you want to insult someone, you can do just by conjugating your verbs differently
and implying your target far beneath you.
In the dojo and out,
everything about Japanese culture expresses your relationship with your
teacher. How deeply you bow is important (Americans always bow too low to just
about everyone). A student always wants to bow lower than their teacher. In
Japan you address your teacher by his role as a teacher, so she is always
“Sensei.” This can be confusing.
When I taught in Japan,
I was usually addressed as “Sensei.” Even my budo teachers would refer to me as
“Sensei” or “Peter Sensei”. The confusion came as people who didn’t know me
tried to figure out my role in the dojo. Once they understood that was my job,
they also understood that I wasn’t teaching in the dojo. The first few times
this happened though, no one was more confused than I was. Later on, Takada
Sensei referred to me as “Peter Sensei” to some new students and I went into
shock while my brain tried to process. He was placing me in the dojo hierarchy
for them. This way the new student knew to listen to me if I said something.
When we were just
talking alone, I went back to being “Peter Kun.” Kun is a honorific that is
used when adults talk to children, when someone senior wants to express a
certain friendliness and affection towards the junior. This happens a lot in
business relationships between senior managers who will take a young colleague
under their wing and mentor him. It express a certain familiarity and warmth.
When Takada Sensei called me “Peter Kun” he was saying he liked me. It wasn’t a
put down. He was exaggerating the social distance between us and suggesting the
closeness of a teacher/parent to child relationship. In our budo relationship,
this was exactly what it was.
To maintain distance
with someone, the easiest way is to stick to calling them “So-And-So San” This
is the bland, standard, generic form of polite address. There is no particular
emotion attached to it, and the formality is fine with strangers. The generic
form doesn’t connect you with someone, so it holds them out at a distance. It’s
not rude, but it doesn’t invite you in either. This is how strangers address
each other. It’s how colleagues at work talk to people they know a little bit
but have no strong connections to. It’s also how you talk to someone you don’t
like but have no reason to be rude to.
The key in all of these
is “in Japanese culture.” Japan is a different culture, and different cultural
rules apply. If you don’t want to be rude and make people uncomfortable, you do
things according to the local culture. If your teacher is culturally Japanese,
call her Sensei all the time, inside the dojo and out. If your teacher is from
the US or Europe, that’s probably not a great idea and will likely make the
teacher feel uncomfortable outside the dojo.
Showing respect is about
letting someone know you appreciate them and hold them in high regard. It’s not
about slavishly following them and praising them. In the dojo do what is
appropriate for that dojo. Call your teacher “Sensei.” Outside of practice use
the forms of respect that are appropriate in your culture. If you’re in Japan,
call her “Sensei” all the time. If you’re in Chicago though, Ms. or Mrs. or her
first name, depending on how she prefers to be addressed. Just like you do with
everyone else. Don’t go overboard with the titles and trying to be more
Japanese than the Japanese when you don’t even live there. Relax.
One more thing. If you
really want to let your sensei know how much you appreciate her, show up for class on
time or a little early, and ready to train. Train hard. Help clean up the dojo
after practice. Then buy her a drink. Teaching budo is thirsty work. I can’t
think of any of my sensei who don’t appreciate a cold drink after practice.
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