Deborah Klens-Bigman, Ph.D. doing Shinto Hatakage
Ryu. (Photo copyright 2018 Deborah Klens-Bigman)
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This is a guest post by Deborah Klens-Bigman, PhD. and Jun Shihan in Shinto Hatakage Ryu. A martial arts practitioner and teacher for more than thirty years, she has seen a great deal of the budo world, and experienced its good and bad. We as budoka are not perfect, and this seems like a good time to consider one area where the budo world could improve. Budo has never been a male-only practice, as can be seen most clearly in the number of women who've led, and lead, martial ryuha in Japan. Klens-Bigman Sensei is addressing an issue that should be of concern to everyone in budo.
First,
I would like to point out that most of my teachers in my 30-plus
years of training have been men - good, talented men. And the
vast, vast majority of my colleagues in budo are also men - honorable
people I am pleased to associate with. But sexism in budo needs to be
addressed; and I feel the need to address it very specifically, and
right now.
The
public discourse of the past two years has allowed for what pundits
refer to as "tribalism" to come out into the light. I
think it is too early to know yet whether this is a good thing (what
comes into the light can be confronted, and refuted), or a bad thing
(normalizing behavior that many of us had hoped no longer existed).
All the while there have been some voices all-too-quietly
pointing out that misogyny is ever present for all to see, regardless
of “tribe.” Perhaps it is its perpetual "there-ness"
that allows misogyny to be continuously overlooked, or disregarded.
Or, just perhaps, no one is very comfortable discussing it, so
no one does.
Since
I was a little kid sneaking out of the children's library into the
grownup sections for further adventure, I was interested in hand
weapons. Not guns, but swords, knives, glaives, spears, battle
axes, bows, maces - if you could hold it in your hand and wield it at
someone, I was ON IT - at least in the bookly sense. I lugged
home books on arms & armor that were almost as big as I was. When
I was traveling with my parents, nothing thrilled me more than
climbing around castle ruins or forts, or (the best) going to a real
medieval armory.
My
parents thought I might become a historian.
Through
all of this fascination, it never occurred to me for a single moment
that my interest was weird or should be circumscribed in any way.
That is, until I decided to actually do something about it.
I
tried fencing, which I enjoyed, but I was not happy with the
competitive aspect of it (there was no historical fencing available
like you can find now). Likewise, I was not happy with the
theatrical fencing I encountered in college; not just because it was
fake, but because there really was no opportunity to take part in
fight scenes featuring women. I decided fight choreography was
a waste of time.
When
I first encountered iaido, I was very fortunate that my teacher, an
Osaka native, had three daughters. He had no problem whatsoever
with training me. There have been few times in my life when I felt
that I really found something important. This was one of them.
Deborah Klens-Bigman, Jun Shihan, Shinto Hatakage
Ryu (photo copyright 2018 Deborah Klens-Bigman)
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Unfortunately,
my sempai did not agree. My first few months of practice, one
of them told me that it was "not proper" for women to study
Japanese swordsmanship. I decided that was silly. My Japanese
teacher was perfectly happy with me being in the dojo. However, this
sempai arranged for me to miss a demo that my teacher wanted me to
take part in. Everyone else was there. The experience was
mortifying. It was designed to make me quit. That was the first time
I realized that not everyone had the same attitude when it came to
women training in budo.
I
should point out that most of the resistance to my practicing
swordsmanship came from a number of my American sempai. During
my many training trips to Japan, I rarely encountered the feeling of
being excluded. But more about that later.
I
didn't quit. I was stubborn. I kept going to okeiko. I
volunteered to organize demos (a job no one wanted) partly so I could
not be left out again. I trained hard. I watched. I listened. I
learned. And I put up with a lot.
Budo
training for women involves more than just wanting to improve your
skills and develop your personality. It involves enduring.
Enduring sempai who, instead of being willing to help you, try
to hinder you, because something about being an onnakenshi
just
doesn't feel right to them. It's walking into a seminar where
you are the only woman (hint: You have to walk in like you own the
place). If no one knows you, it's getting the puzzled look as
the guys try to figure out whose wife/girlfriend or (after awhile)
mom you are. It's also enduring looks at the inevitable banquet
when wives and girlfriends eye you with suspicion because you are
there by yourself. It's being told you are "gender
non-conforming," and that's supposed to be a compliment.
I'd
like to say the situation improves for women who teach, but it does
not. I've had men walk into my okeiko and immediately look to
one of my male students as the teacher, because it's not possible
that could be me. I've taught seminars and offered correction
to a male student who ignored me while taking the same correction
from another man. I've encountered fellow budo teachers who implied I
should be teaching women, or children, but not men.
Sadly, I gave a demo once and had a woman in the audience ask
if there are "any restrictions for women" in learning budo.
Because she assumed that there are.
Klens-Bigman Sensei leading class (photo
copyright 2018 Deborah Klens-Bigman)
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And
it's rare, but it happens - someone being just a little too rough as
a training partner, landing a tsuki in jodo with the intention of
knocking you down, or knocking the wind out of you, at least. Or,
as a senior student, having a sempai publicly humiliate you in front
of the whole dojo, because you "just don't know your place"
(and having the kohai silently agree with him). The fact that I was
correct in that situation was meaningless.
One
wonders why we bother. Indeed, I have wondered, from time to
time, why I
bother.
There
are a lot of reasons for persisting. For one thing, not all
budoka behave in the ways I have mentioned (though more of them do
than I'd like). Just like the guys, there is the fun of
learning new things and gaining new skill and confidence. And I have
been to seminars in Japan where I am not
the
only woman; indeed, where several of the women have menkyo and
everyone treats me as though I have the same potential. As I
said, while I can't say that I never encountered male hostility in
Japan, I can say that, generally speaking, when it comes to okeiko,
people have treated me like any other student. And most of the
groups I have trained with are at least 1/3 female.
And
that is all women want. We want to be just like everyone else.
We want to be taught. We want to learn. We don't want to
be hit on. We aren't looking for dates. We want to be taken
seriously. And we want our expertise to be recognized.
Now
and then, a young woman comes to the dojo, with a look in her eyes
like I had so long ago. It's my job (and my pleasure) to make
her feel welcome. To help her understand that yes,
you can do this. I will help you.
And
there are good memories, like the time my teacher gave me a bear hug
after a class (in front of the sempai!) and said, "You're doing
VERY WELL."
I
do this to keep my teacher's faith in me. I do it for myself.
And yeah, I do it for women.
Deborah Klens-Bigman doing Shinto Muso Ryu.
(photo copyright 2018 Deborah Klens-Bigman)
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